You thought it would never happen, but guess what you where wrong. Your making Love to your mate. I mean earth shattering, breath taking, bed moving, one of you screaming, going to be soar for a day or two kind of action. The door opens and you see your child standing there with the most horrifying look you have ever seen on their face. You scramble to regain some composure and then what?
Do you make up something to tell them like Momma had something in her eye. Daddy was just playing horsey with Mommy. Mom and Dad where trying to kill a spider. Daddy had a boo boo and Mommy was kissing it to make it all better. The list could go on.
Or do you calm the child get dressed and then have a talk about their sexual health, how they where conceived. How much information do you give them? Depending on the age I think the terrified look usually is gotten under the age of 10. Too bad most parents just go with the excuses and the child is left with this mental picture and ridiculous explanation of what was going on. At least that's what we did.
My daughter age 8, we forgot to lock the door. My Husbands explanation I'm tickling your Mother. My daughter the next day tells her brother don't ever tickle her again, Mommy almost died! Daddy was tickling her and she kept calling God.
Stop and communicate even with the youngest in the house.
Love Ya See Ya Bye
Twilla
Thursday, September 30, 2010
Wednesday, September 29, 2010
The Good Wife
There is a show in it's second season on TV, that is full of issues about the dynamics of power, politics, and marriage. I am usually not interested in such fictional drama, but I do like to spend as much time as possible with my Husband. This is one of his favorite shows. Last nights episode caused a discussion that had us both laughing and thinking about how to handle some hot topics in our own relationship.
The wife who has been cheated on by her political husband and stood by him through the scandal, is being pursued by her boss who has known her since college. She has feelings for him but she is a honorable and loyal wife. Her husband and her have been sleeping in separate beds. The husband went and saw her in action as a high powered lawyer last night and really got fired up for her. When she got home he initiated contact with her and she responded by telling him she had to study. He continued his advances, she continued to resist. He finally pressed her against a wall and let her know she did not have to do a thing he got this. His head disappeared and her face relaxed.
I ask my husband when I come in and he says I am on a rampage about something wrong in the house does he think this would work for us? After he got through laughing, his answer was yes but knowing me after he was done I would go back to what ever I was ranting and raving about.
Wow, I thought he knew that this kind of submission on his part would lend itself to a different kind of submission on my part. I know the things that where upsetting me when I came in would still be their but I would handle them with less tension.
I had a discussion with a couple I know about a movie the wife and I love, you might have heard of it, Something New. Her husband always contends we should not be watching stuff like that because we want our men to do what the man in this movie did, paint her toes etc.
So do guys never watch things on TV or Movies and want their wives to do any of it? Or do they just not share they would like for some of the things to be done? We women are really open about that kind of stuff. Once again communication is the key. What do you think? I look forward to hearing from you.
Love Ya See Ya Bye
Twilla
The wife who has been cheated on by her political husband and stood by him through the scandal, is being pursued by her boss who has known her since college. She has feelings for him but she is a honorable and loyal wife. Her husband and her have been sleeping in separate beds. The husband went and saw her in action as a high powered lawyer last night and really got fired up for her. When she got home he initiated contact with her and she responded by telling him she had to study. He continued his advances, she continued to resist. He finally pressed her against a wall and let her know she did not have to do a thing he got this. His head disappeared and her face relaxed.
I ask my husband when I come in and he says I am on a rampage about something wrong in the house does he think this would work for us? After he got through laughing, his answer was yes but knowing me after he was done I would go back to what ever I was ranting and raving about.
Wow, I thought he knew that this kind of submission on his part would lend itself to a different kind of submission on my part. I know the things that where upsetting me when I came in would still be their but I would handle them with less tension.
I had a discussion with a couple I know about a movie the wife and I love, you might have heard of it, Something New. Her husband always contends we should not be watching stuff like that because we want our men to do what the man in this movie did, paint her toes etc.
So do guys never watch things on TV or Movies and want their wives to do any of it? Or do they just not share they would like for some of the things to be done? We women are really open about that kind of stuff. Once again communication is the key. What do you think? I look forward to hearing from you.
Love Ya See Ya Bye
Twilla
Tuesday, September 28, 2010
Masturbation Is It a Sin or Not?
Sin, small word big impact on peoples lives. I recently had a conversation with several people in different circumstances and thought to myself, interpretation of anything connected with the word Sin attached to it is like a keg of dynamite.
In one group masturbation of any kind was strictly forbidden. One major reason sited was the mind and sight elements that accompany the act. The person allows pornographic images to enter and thus makes it a Sin.
A male minister explained it by saying yes he believed the above mentioned and councils the young men he knows that God will convict them of any wrong doing on their part when the time is right. He tells married folks that in the act of a husband or wife being totally involved with their expression of love making it is up to them what each has submitted to do for and with the other.
Several young men thought it is better to do masturbation than take the chance of getting a girl pregnant or contracting a STI or STD. They planned on remaining virgins until marriage.
A fertility clinic specialist gives men magazines and a cup and points them to a room to collect the specimen. What magazines I ask? This particular clinic gives, Home Journal, Cosmopolitan, Oprah's O, and last but not lest People. They never give anything pornographic.
So who is right? The people that say never or those that give a Love or medical reason. Who ever you side with, one thing is sure if you ask 4 people this question in different surroundings you get 4 different answers. Interpretation is everything.
Love Ya See Ya Bye
Twilla
In one group masturbation of any kind was strictly forbidden. One major reason sited was the mind and sight elements that accompany the act. The person allows pornographic images to enter and thus makes it a Sin.
A male minister explained it by saying yes he believed the above mentioned and councils the young men he knows that God will convict them of any wrong doing on their part when the time is right. He tells married folks that in the act of a husband or wife being totally involved with their expression of love making it is up to them what each has submitted to do for and with the other.
Several young men thought it is better to do masturbation than take the chance of getting a girl pregnant or contracting a STI or STD. They planned on remaining virgins until marriage.
A fertility clinic specialist gives men magazines and a cup and points them to a room to collect the specimen. What magazines I ask? This particular clinic gives, Home Journal, Cosmopolitan, Oprah's O, and last but not lest People. They never give anything pornographic.
So who is right? The people that say never or those that give a Love or medical reason. Who ever you side with, one thing is sure if you ask 4 people this question in different surroundings you get 4 different answers. Interpretation is everything.
Love Ya See Ya Bye
Twilla
Monday, September 27, 2010
What Next?
Those little ovaries of mine are at it again. I had another CT and again they see mass but can not tell exactly what it is. This is sooooo nerve racking. My Doctor, you know the young guy, has summoned me to his office again this week.
I really am so tempted to tell him just go in and take these little trouble makers. They ran blood work and told me even though they are causing such problems their still doing the job of supplying me with hormones. If He takes them out I will head straight into menopause.
What do I do?
Love Ya See Ya Bye
Twilla
I really am so tempted to tell him just go in and take these little trouble makers. They ran blood work and told me even though they are causing such problems their still doing the job of supplying me with hormones. If He takes them out I will head straight into menopause.
What do I do?
Love Ya See Ya Bye
Twilla
Thursday, September 23, 2010
Passion for What
Websters dictionary defines passion as 1any emotion, as hate, love, fear, etc. Wow that just makes it even clearer how people at one point in their relationships can profess such genuine love for their partner and then in no time spew such venomous hate for them. It was curious to me that Webster would choose to put love in between hate and fear. After a year of receiving calls on the hot line at Twilla Talk 706.507.9704 I now understand better why.
I had the privilege of attending a meeting to empower youth in our city. A group is forming to listen to the voice of the child through the child. Not what we think, they want but to really hear them. I went because of my passion for children. After I had a full melt down in the meeting. What I'm saying is my passion spilled out about some things that where going on in the meeting and I found myself in my favorite book I like to use as a reference point for everything. Basic Instructions Before Leaving Earth. I mean do you ever hear your voice raising and your heart pounding and your passion that is love turning to the hate or fear counterpart? I did. I was quoting the story about why humans speak so many different languages, to get my point about being unified across. Which is in Genesis chapter eleven of the before mentioned book, when I could feel the tears welling up in my eyes and threatening to overflow. The release would have been welcomed by me but I fear it would have been used against me as a judge of how women can be too emotional instead of calling it passionate. Websters definition for passionate: 1 having or showing strong feelings.
Here's to all of us filled to the brim with passion for our mates. Show up and support whatever it is passionately and with Unity as one. Nothing you as a family decide to do will be restrained.
Love Ya See Ya Bye
Twilla
I had the privilege of attending a meeting to empower youth in our city. A group is forming to listen to the voice of the child through the child. Not what we think, they want but to really hear them. I went because of my passion for children. After I had a full melt down in the meeting. What I'm saying is my passion spilled out about some things that where going on in the meeting and I found myself in my favorite book I like to use as a reference point for everything. Basic Instructions Before Leaving Earth. I mean do you ever hear your voice raising and your heart pounding and your passion that is love turning to the hate or fear counterpart? I did. I was quoting the story about why humans speak so many different languages, to get my point about being unified across. Which is in Genesis chapter eleven of the before mentioned book, when I could feel the tears welling up in my eyes and threatening to overflow. The release would have been welcomed by me but I fear it would have been used against me as a judge of how women can be too emotional instead of calling it passionate. Websters definition for passionate: 1 having or showing strong feelings.
Here's to all of us filled to the brim with passion for our mates. Show up and support whatever it is passionately and with Unity as one. Nothing you as a family decide to do will be restrained.
Love Ya See Ya Bye
Twilla
Wednesday, September 22, 2010
When Do We Discuss It
With all that is going on and all that has gone on in the past, when is the right time for the collective body of believers to discuss our sexual health?
My absolute belief is that we start NOW and at every seminar, conference, revival, woman's day program, men's program, church anniversary, usher boards anniversary, pastors appreciation, marriage ministry, singles ministry, youth ministry and any other proposed events where we have speakers, teachers, and instructors.
We need to have open candid discussion on what we the believers need to know about. Some may not agree, but in the right setting I believe young people will learn how to stay abstinence not by just saying don't do it. We all know how well that works, but by being able to ask questions and get honest answers. I think adults can and will open up if they don't feel they are being preached at. Instead asked to engage in meaningful conversation with speakers that allow them to ask questions as well as give answers.
The world we live on is complex and the humans we share it with are all sexual beings our creator saw fit to make us this way so why shouldn't we talk about at least one of the things we all have in common.
Love Ya See Ya Bye
Twilla
My absolute belief is that we start NOW and at every seminar, conference, revival, woman's day program, men's program, church anniversary, usher boards anniversary, pastors appreciation, marriage ministry, singles ministry, youth ministry and any other proposed events where we have speakers, teachers, and instructors.
We need to have open candid discussion on what we the believers need to know about. Some may not agree, but in the right setting I believe young people will learn how to stay abstinence not by just saying don't do it. We all know how well that works, but by being able to ask questions and get honest answers. I think adults can and will open up if they don't feel they are being preached at. Instead asked to engage in meaningful conversation with speakers that allow them to ask questions as well as give answers.
The world we live on is complex and the humans we share it with are all sexual beings our creator saw fit to make us this way so why shouldn't we talk about at least one of the things we all have in common.
Love Ya See Ya Bye
Twilla
Tuesday, September 21, 2010
We are Married why use a Condom
The conversation I just had with a women married all of two days is exactly why I advocate talking about your pass sexual life in detail before marriage.
Her husband informed her on their wedding night he really needed to attend a friends funeral the next day, would she mind if he went? She being sensitive to his needs told him no she wouldn't mind. The next day while he was at the funeral she got a call from a friend asking her why would she allow her husband to go to his ex's funeral, and did she know she had died of complications from AIDS? She told the friend no and waited for her husband to come home. When he got home she confronted him about it and he told her everything was true.
This was the first time they had every discussed pass partners. She asked him to go with her and get tested for HIV. His response was no, I know I don't have it because the girl and I where only together a few times and I am never sick.
She asked me my opinion, I told her sounds like they should be using condoms. If he is not going to be tested, she has to protect herself the best she knows how. If he wont wear a condom then she needs to use a female one.
So many times I speak with singles as well as married people and I have to continuously remind them that if you or your partner have ever had unprotected sex, you have opened the opportunity for any STI or STD to be passed onto your present partner. Think of it like this count all the sexual contacts you have ever had and multiply that by ten, then imagine your mate doing the same and then think about what all those humans could be lying to each other about or in denial.
Everyone in Love enough to want to spend the rest of their life with you. Should be open enough to talk about their sexual past. I think it should be in the first ten things you discuss on a date.
You should practice how you will bring it into the conversation. Practice makes perfect and you wont feel so awkward about it.
Love Ya See Ya Bye
Twilla
Her husband informed her on their wedding night he really needed to attend a friends funeral the next day, would she mind if he went? She being sensitive to his needs told him no she wouldn't mind. The next day while he was at the funeral she got a call from a friend asking her why would she allow her husband to go to his ex's funeral, and did she know she had died of complications from AIDS? She told the friend no and waited for her husband to come home. When he got home she confronted him about it and he told her everything was true.
This was the first time they had every discussed pass partners. She asked him to go with her and get tested for HIV. His response was no, I know I don't have it because the girl and I where only together a few times and I am never sick.
She asked me my opinion, I told her sounds like they should be using condoms. If he is not going to be tested, she has to protect herself the best she knows how. If he wont wear a condom then she needs to use a female one.
So many times I speak with singles as well as married people and I have to continuously remind them that if you or your partner have ever had unprotected sex, you have opened the opportunity for any STI or STD to be passed onto your present partner. Think of it like this count all the sexual contacts you have ever had and multiply that by ten, then imagine your mate doing the same and then think about what all those humans could be lying to each other about or in denial.
Everyone in Love enough to want to spend the rest of their life with you. Should be open enough to talk about their sexual past. I think it should be in the first ten things you discuss on a date.
You should practice how you will bring it into the conversation. Practice makes perfect and you wont feel so awkward about it.
Love Ya See Ya Bye
Twilla
Monday, September 20, 2010
What Is A Revirgin?
I had a great time this weekend at a event put on by The Columbus Jazz Society and hosted by K92s very own deep sultry sexy voice Kris Green. The event was short but sweet. I was the only one this time that thought tailgating would be the way to get the best seat in the house and I was right. I got to talk to all the people passing and at the end I had no clean up.
While waiting for all the traffic to clear I spotted a old friend I had not seen in at least 3 years. She introduced me to some new ladies and they proceeded to tell me how shallow the dating pool is. They all went on to say they have reclaimed their virginity. What you say reclaimed, how is that possible?
I was told if you do not have sex for 7 years the new rule is you get to call yourself a virgin again. Stop the presses let me check with a physician, well my doctor did not call back fast enough so next best thing google it. So this is what I found.
Years ago in Japan a women went through a procedure that reattached the hood over her hymen, it was successful but no doctors recommend it. Their is no time frame used for calculating reclamation. However there are rules, you have to write a statement saying you promise to wait until marriage for intercourse, and then you can download a pledge card to carry with you as a reminder. All of the sites I found, where targeting teens. Not a one even addressed anyone living in a town they considered having a shortage of properly vetted males.
I think the ladies I spoke with might not want to sign those agreements. If the right man came along I'm thinking that card would be the first thing in the shredder. Sad to say even older women feel the pressure to give up their reclaimed virginity when it comes right down to it.
I left them with a thought I often tell single women to lighten their spirits. A wise women in a book of wisdom listened to a wiser older women and went about her business of gleaning in the fields, bending and gleaning, I like to think of it as The Bend and Snap of old. A man named Boaz saw her and you can read the rest of the story in The Book of Ruth located in Basic Instructions Before Leaving Earth. Don't forget ladies, Glean, Bend and Snap your Boaz will find you and he will wait until marriage because your worth the wait.
Love Ya See Ya Bye
Twilla
While waiting for all the traffic to clear I spotted a old friend I had not seen in at least 3 years. She introduced me to some new ladies and they proceeded to tell me how shallow the dating pool is. They all went on to say they have reclaimed their virginity. What you say reclaimed, how is that possible?
I was told if you do not have sex for 7 years the new rule is you get to call yourself a virgin again. Stop the presses let me check with a physician, well my doctor did not call back fast enough so next best thing google it. So this is what I found.
Years ago in Japan a women went through a procedure that reattached the hood over her hymen, it was successful but no doctors recommend it. Their is no time frame used for calculating reclamation. However there are rules, you have to write a statement saying you promise to wait until marriage for intercourse, and then you can download a pledge card to carry with you as a reminder. All of the sites I found, where targeting teens. Not a one even addressed anyone living in a town they considered having a shortage of properly vetted males.
I think the ladies I spoke with might not want to sign those agreements. If the right man came along I'm thinking that card would be the first thing in the shredder. Sad to say even older women feel the pressure to give up their reclaimed virginity when it comes right down to it.
I left them with a thought I often tell single women to lighten their spirits. A wise women in a book of wisdom listened to a wiser older women and went about her business of gleaning in the fields, bending and gleaning, I like to think of it as The Bend and Snap of old. A man named Boaz saw her and you can read the rest of the story in The Book of Ruth located in Basic Instructions Before Leaving Earth. Don't forget ladies, Glean, Bend and Snap your Boaz will find you and he will wait until marriage because your worth the wait.
Love Ya See Ya Bye
Twilla
Thursday, September 16, 2010
God Invented Sex
There is a popular song out, the guy says you gone think I invented sex. No matter what he thinks I assure you he did not. He might have come across some really interesting ways to experience sex but I am convinced The Great I AM is the original creator.
A middle age lady made a statement to me how could I talk about that secular stuff you a christian right. It kind of caught me off guard, I had to think what in the world is she talking about. She saw my puzzled look and added you know sex and things about sex. I stirred up the most surprising look I could and told her, Oh My God this whole time I was under the impression it was God that invented Sex. She was silent and had the look you can only get when a light has been turned on for you as you stand searching for something in the dark. As her mind became more aware of her new enlightenment she said"Baby you keep talking about sex you are correct". She patted me on the arm and walk away with the look of a child with a new toy.
I wonder how long had she felt that Sex was something dirty and not commissioned by Our Creator. Maybe some type of abuse happened when she was young or maybe some religious teaching not biblical was at play. Whatever it was I hope to someday meet her again and find out more.
There are lots of people, I am sure that may be thinking the same thing. Please know this the Song of Solomon is a wonderful book located in the Basic Instructions Before Leaving Earth that is a great demonstration of the love and intimacy that two humans can express to one another.
I know every time I read it I'm brought to tears and then I'm running into my husbands arms.
Love Ya See Ya Bye
Twilla
A middle age lady made a statement to me how could I talk about that secular stuff you a christian right. It kind of caught me off guard, I had to think what in the world is she talking about. She saw my puzzled look and added you know sex and things about sex. I stirred up the most surprising look I could and told her, Oh My God this whole time I was under the impression it was God that invented Sex. She was silent and had the look you can only get when a light has been turned on for you as you stand searching for something in the dark. As her mind became more aware of her new enlightenment she said"Baby you keep talking about sex you are correct". She patted me on the arm and walk away with the look of a child with a new toy.
I wonder how long had she felt that Sex was something dirty and not commissioned by Our Creator. Maybe some type of abuse happened when she was young or maybe some religious teaching not biblical was at play. Whatever it was I hope to someday meet her again and find out more.
There are lots of people, I am sure that may be thinking the same thing. Please know this the Song of Solomon is a wonderful book located in the Basic Instructions Before Leaving Earth that is a great demonstration of the love and intimacy that two humans can express to one another.
I know every time I read it I'm brought to tears and then I'm running into my husbands arms.
Love Ya See Ya Bye
Twilla
Tuesday, September 14, 2010
Just Say Yes
OK ladies I try to be very understanding about all the extra SUPER WOMAN stuff we need to do. But there comes a time or several times a day that you just gotta say YES to your Man.
We all know the old saying, what you want do another will. I'm saying it's not even all that. No you should not be worried about your man stepping out on you. The commitment to your spouse should far exceed what ever you have not worked out.
With that being said. You have got to start saying YES more than No to him. I say make him say, honey can I have a break from sex. I know you think right he will never say that. Trust me you put it on him as often and more than he ask and he will ask for a break and might even tell you he gets the point about having other things to do. Then you have won him over to the more sensible time table that you both can agree to.
So game on, since football season has started this is the opportune time to put this plan into action. let me know how long it takes to make him say enough dear.
Love Ya See Ya Bye
Twilla
We all know the old saying, what you want do another will. I'm saying it's not even all that. No you should not be worried about your man stepping out on you. The commitment to your spouse should far exceed what ever you have not worked out.
With that being said. You have got to start saying YES more than No to him. I say make him say, honey can I have a break from sex. I know you think right he will never say that. Trust me you put it on him as often and more than he ask and he will ask for a break and might even tell you he gets the point about having other things to do. Then you have won him over to the more sensible time table that you both can agree to.
So game on, since football season has started this is the opportune time to put this plan into action. let me know how long it takes to make him say enough dear.
Love Ya See Ya Bye
Twilla
Monday, September 13, 2010
Extra Bodies in your Bed
So you get all washed and smelling good and well rested.Looked at a few positions in your bedside Kama Sudra Manuel, stretched a few limbs and waited for your mate to make their grand entrance and climb into your waiting arms. The door swings open and a giggling, screaming, child comes running through the door to announce daddy said "I can sleep with you tonight". All you can do is lay there in total disbelieve.
It took a year and some to get this little person out of your bed, at his request and now he lets the intruder back in. What is a women to think.
The Women I had this conversation with was absolutely dumb founded. This scenario continued for months and she finally got feed up and ask her husband what was going on. He told her she had lost too much weight and it was like making love to a bone. Every time they would try new positions he could feel her pelvic bones and felt like he would break it. She did not know what to say or do. Gain weight to get her sex life back or keep the weight off to feel better and be healthier.
Wow for once in my life time I was almost speechless, but you know that did not last long. I asked did she talk with her husband about the weight loss plan. She indicated he should have known that it was not good for her to be over weight. She just started working out and eating better. She continued to feed him what they always ate.
Once again I say communication is they key we should never take for granted what another person is thinking even if you do eat, sleep and live in the same house. No quick fixes for marital discord, but one sure way not to have allot of it is communication.
Love Ya See Ya Bye
Twilla
It took a year and some to get this little person out of your bed, at his request and now he lets the intruder back in. What is a women to think.
The Women I had this conversation with was absolutely dumb founded. This scenario continued for months and she finally got feed up and ask her husband what was going on. He told her she had lost too much weight and it was like making love to a bone. Every time they would try new positions he could feel her pelvic bones and felt like he would break it. She did not know what to say or do. Gain weight to get her sex life back or keep the weight off to feel better and be healthier.
Wow for once in my life time I was almost speechless, but you know that did not last long. I asked did she talk with her husband about the weight loss plan. She indicated he should have known that it was not good for her to be over weight. She just started working out and eating better. She continued to feed him what they always ate.
Once again I say communication is they key we should never take for granted what another person is thinking even if you do eat, sleep and live in the same house. No quick fixes for marital discord, but one sure way not to have allot of it is communication.
Love Ya See Ya Bye
Twilla
Friday, September 10, 2010
Call me Leopard not Cougar
I spoke with a associate yesterday u might know him, Toney Harris of For Lovers Only on Sunday night Foxy 104.9, 10pm-3pm. You owe me a shout out brother. OK I was saying, we talked briefly about him being attracted to older women. Then he said that name Cougar.
I looked up the word and Webster gave the definitions as a large, powerful, tawny wild cat. I don't know about the rest of you ladies but If I did like younger men. I would rather be called a leopard. Definition, any of various large ferocious cats, including the jaguar.
I mean what Women do you know only has one side to her. The reason smart young men seek us out is because of our ability to multi task. You know, I can bring home the meat, cook it up in a pan and never ever let you forget your the man. Cougar seems to be the name I would have called myself early on in life, one dimensional in my mindset. Now, I along with most of the Women I know are and can be called several things to several people.
As for Mr. Harris saying he could handle maybe two right about now, well I say one women to one man is how the creator intended it to be or he would have taken more than one of your ribs, and I think that is how you should proceed. But you know what the nick name is for the guys that do that and I cant think of a better one, Dog, Webster's definition, a mean contemptible fellow, an unattractive person or unsatisfactory thing.
Nicknames are a powerful thing maybe we should think long and hard before we give someone a name that might just stick with them the rest of their lives.
Love Ya See Ya Bye
Twilla
I looked up the word and Webster gave the definitions as a large, powerful, tawny wild cat. I don't know about the rest of you ladies but If I did like younger men. I would rather be called a leopard. Definition, any of various large ferocious cats, including the jaguar.
I mean what Women do you know only has one side to her. The reason smart young men seek us out is because of our ability to multi task. You know, I can bring home the meat, cook it up in a pan and never ever let you forget your the man. Cougar seems to be the name I would have called myself early on in life, one dimensional in my mindset. Now, I along with most of the Women I know are and can be called several things to several people.
As for Mr. Harris saying he could handle maybe two right about now, well I say one women to one man is how the creator intended it to be or he would have taken more than one of your ribs, and I think that is how you should proceed. But you know what the nick name is for the guys that do that and I cant think of a better one, Dog, Webster's definition, a mean contemptible fellow, an unattractive person or unsatisfactory thing.
Nicknames are a powerful thing maybe we should think long and hard before we give someone a name that might just stick with them the rest of their lives.
Love Ya See Ya Bye
Twilla
Thursday, September 9, 2010
Negotiating my Passion
My all time favorite thing to do is dance. Often when I was young and it was a kinder gentler place on earth. My grandmother would take me dancing on a Friday and Saturday night. You know the booty shaking, hip roaring, hand slapping kine you heard talk about in the south, at what we called juke joint or hole in the wall. That's a whole other story.
Since those days I have practiced ballet, jazz, modern, the list could go on. What really has me in a pickle is I want to enjoy some form of dancing with my husband and he has about as much rhythm as Steve Martin in the Jerk. He really doesn't have a passion for it like I do. Before you think it let me say, yes I knew he didn't have rhythm when we met. I'm not trying to change who he is. I just wont to enjoy his company. Doing something I want to do.
We have been enjoying some of the seasons of Dancing With the Stars. No I did not drug him and tie him to the chair. He really liked critiquing the dancers. I asked him if he would consider Ball Room dancing he hesitated and said "Maybe." That is my opening. I am going to work this like a jockey riding a horse. I will let you know at a later date how the negotiations turn out.
Love Ya See Ya Bye
Twilla
Since those days I have practiced ballet, jazz, modern, the list could go on. What really has me in a pickle is I want to enjoy some form of dancing with my husband and he has about as much rhythm as Steve Martin in the Jerk. He really doesn't have a passion for it like I do. Before you think it let me say, yes I knew he didn't have rhythm when we met. I'm not trying to change who he is. I just wont to enjoy his company. Doing something I want to do.
We have been enjoying some of the seasons of Dancing With the Stars. No I did not drug him and tie him to the chair. He really liked critiquing the dancers. I asked him if he would consider Ball Room dancing he hesitated and said "Maybe." That is my opening. I am going to work this like a jockey riding a horse. I will let you know at a later date how the negotiations turn out.
Love Ya See Ya Bye
Twilla
Wednesday, September 8, 2010
My Dreams of Sex
I recently had a caller that was very upset about her dreams of sexual activity being so real. She would wake up with sore muscles and vaginally wet.
You know me I first asked did she check with her Husband. She said "He works at night". I asked is he the one in the dream? She said "Sometimes but most of the time it is someone she knows at work, church or even another parent at her children's soccer games". She began to cry and tell me she loves her Husband very much and would never do anything to jeopardise their marriage.
Getting people to talk about deeper issues is sometimes tricky, but I have to at least try so the next few questions kind of caught her off guard but she answered.
Q. Is your marriage sex starved?
A. A little.
Q. Is your marriage in other crises?
A. No.
Q. Are you and your mate having money difficulties?
A. No.
Q. Do the other men in the dreams resemble your husband?
A. Same complexion but not same built.
I'm not a doctor and this is just my opinion as always you should seek a physician for any and all medical concerns.
Now that I have taken care of that disclaimer. I addressed the issue of what a little meant to her, when I asked about sex starved. She said "Because he works at night and her at day it became difficult for them to have as much sex as they had in the past. They do try to make it a priority on the days they are both off or vacations.
I told her sounded like her subconscious is filling in the blanks with people that she is spending more time with than her husband all though she clearly wishes it was him instead she is at work more, at soccer more and probably even at church more than she is with her husband. She thought about it and then agreed, that is the case most days.
Here's a question? Are we super women doing too much, I know I am not the first to ask but really should we try to slow down and do less to receive more.
The last thing I asked her is does she know what a Incubus is. She said "No". I told her the Webster dictionary explains it as 1. a nightmare 2. an oppressive burden. I told her I think both of those fit what she explained. It is a nightmare for her to go through such gratifying sexual encounters in her sleep and quite a burden to her mind that the men howbeit the same complexion, are not her husband.
She came to her on conclusion of asking her husband to seek a day position and maybe cutting back on some of her extra stuff as she put it.
It is always good for people to talk it out and then make their own game plan they have a better chance of success.
Love Ya See Ya Bye
Twilla
You know me I first asked did she check with her Husband. She said "He works at night". I asked is he the one in the dream? She said "Sometimes but most of the time it is someone she knows at work, church or even another parent at her children's soccer games". She began to cry and tell me she loves her Husband very much and would never do anything to jeopardise their marriage.
Getting people to talk about deeper issues is sometimes tricky, but I have to at least try so the next few questions kind of caught her off guard but she answered.
Q. Is your marriage sex starved?
A. A little.
Q. Is your marriage in other crises?
A. No.
Q. Are you and your mate having money difficulties?
A. No.
Q. Do the other men in the dreams resemble your husband?
A. Same complexion but not same built.
I'm not a doctor and this is just my opinion as always you should seek a physician for any and all medical concerns.
Now that I have taken care of that disclaimer. I addressed the issue of what a little meant to her, when I asked about sex starved. She said "Because he works at night and her at day it became difficult for them to have as much sex as they had in the past. They do try to make it a priority on the days they are both off or vacations.
I told her sounded like her subconscious is filling in the blanks with people that she is spending more time with than her husband all though she clearly wishes it was him instead she is at work more, at soccer more and probably even at church more than she is with her husband. She thought about it and then agreed, that is the case most days.
Here's a question? Are we super women doing too much, I know I am not the first to ask but really should we try to slow down and do less to receive more.
The last thing I asked her is does she know what a Incubus is. She said "No". I told her the Webster dictionary explains it as 1. a nightmare 2. an oppressive burden. I told her I think both of those fit what she explained. It is a nightmare for her to go through such gratifying sexual encounters in her sleep and quite a burden to her mind that the men howbeit the same complexion, are not her husband.
She came to her on conclusion of asking her husband to seek a day position and maybe cutting back on some of her extra stuff as she put it.
It is always good for people to talk it out and then make their own game plan they have a better chance of success.
Love Ya See Ya Bye
Twilla
Monday, September 6, 2010
How Old is to Old?
To Old for what you ask?
A question was ask of me, or maybe I should say my opinion was solicited. If my mate is now using a walker and has a bed side potty, should I bother them about sex anymore?
I must say just picturing that mate in my minds eye was difficult to say the lest. I could only see a feeble old person trying to engage in activities that once might have been considered a gymnastical (I think I made up a word) display of strength and endurance. A question then came to me.
Is the person in question elderly or did they have a accident? Because if it was a accident maybe this is not a permanent condition and they have some rehabilitation to do. Then the mate can resume all the fun activities that come with intercourse. On the other hand if they are elderly maybe different approaches to intimacy should be explored.
The person let me know it was age not accident. I gave some suggestions about exploring the Venus way of making love to the partner or at least that's what they call it now. Lots of time spent touching and caressing each other, washing each others hair, giving a massage, the list can go on and on but no actual penetration.
I got a none responsive look, and then the person said"That sounds like a night of frustration for both of us". I was under the assumption (We all know what that does) the person wanted intimacy with their mate. Maybe because I was not really listening in the beginning when they said the word SEX instead of INTIMACY.
In that case I think the real question becomes and always was about the partner that has the issue of experiencing the onset of ageing.
Maybe it's time to have a very honest discussion with all of our spouses. What do they think too old is for Sex?
Love Ya, See Ya, Bye
Twilla
A question was ask of me, or maybe I should say my opinion was solicited. If my mate is now using a walker and has a bed side potty, should I bother them about sex anymore?
I must say just picturing that mate in my minds eye was difficult to say the lest. I could only see a feeble old person trying to engage in activities that once might have been considered a gymnastical (I think I made up a word) display of strength and endurance. A question then came to me.
Is the person in question elderly or did they have a accident? Because if it was a accident maybe this is not a permanent condition and they have some rehabilitation to do. Then the mate can resume all the fun activities that come with intercourse. On the other hand if they are elderly maybe different approaches to intimacy should be explored.
The person let me know it was age not accident. I gave some suggestions about exploring the Venus way of making love to the partner or at least that's what they call it now. Lots of time spent touching and caressing each other, washing each others hair, giving a massage, the list can go on and on but no actual penetration.
I got a none responsive look, and then the person said"That sounds like a night of frustration for both of us". I was under the assumption (We all know what that does) the person wanted intimacy with their mate. Maybe because I was not really listening in the beginning when they said the word SEX instead of INTIMACY.
In that case I think the real question becomes and always was about the partner that has the issue of experiencing the onset of ageing.
Maybe it's time to have a very honest discussion with all of our spouses. What do they think too old is for Sex?
Love Ya, See Ya, Bye
Twilla
Friday, September 3, 2010
Vagina's come in all sizes
For the past two weeks, I have had a persistent caller to the Twilla Talk hot line, 706.507.9704. A young man, that is in despair about the size of his penis.
He has been comparing his size to others in the school locker room, looking at the imprint of others in public and finally asking his father about his size. None of the before mentioned activities have given this senior in high school a piece of mind.
He told me He is worried that he wont be able to please the ladies. According to his buddies he is wayyyyy tooooo small. He measured and without an erection he is two inches. He is 5'7 and 187 pounds.
First things first, I told him never go totally on what the guys in the locker room are saying. They don't know squat. Then he should not compare himself to anyone when it comes to anything physical, we are all uniquely and wonderfully made.
Then I addressed what really concerns me about what our young men still believe and that is he used ladies instead of some day my wife. Our youth are not in the frame of mind to keep their virginity until they marry. They are in the locker rooms comparing and sizing each other up to see how many sexual encounters they will have. OK enough of the soap box, not really, just another blog.
After several discussions with this young man I finally had to let him in on what seem to be a secret to him and his buddies. Vagina's are not one size fits all, with that said. We will discuss it further in the next blog.
Love Ya See Ya Bye
Twilla
He has been comparing his size to others in the school locker room, looking at the imprint of others in public and finally asking his father about his size. None of the before mentioned activities have given this senior in high school a piece of mind.
He told me He is worried that he wont be able to please the ladies. According to his buddies he is wayyyyy tooooo small. He measured and without an erection he is two inches. He is 5'7 and 187 pounds.
First things first, I told him never go totally on what the guys in the locker room are saying. They don't know squat. Then he should not compare himself to anyone when it comes to anything physical, we are all uniquely and wonderfully made.
Then I addressed what really concerns me about what our young men still believe and that is he used ladies instead of some day my wife. Our youth are not in the frame of mind to keep their virginity until they marry. They are in the locker rooms comparing and sizing each other up to see how many sexual encounters they will have. OK enough of the soap box, not really, just another blog.
After several discussions with this young man I finally had to let him in on what seem to be a secret to him and his buddies. Vagina's are not one size fits all, with that said. We will discuss it further in the next blog.
Love Ya See Ya Bye
Twilla
Thursday, September 2, 2010
Saints, Sinners, and Swings
Long before I started Twilla Talk, I had a conversation with someone about the SWING they saw in a movie. I didn't ask them what kind of movie it was because my mind automatically went to it was probably X rated.
I was not real sure what kind of belief system this person operated under but looking at their chosen life style I would not have called them a SAINT. I will expound on that further down.
The swing was hung on a door and the women had both legs through loops and held onto the straps connected to the door. While the male stood in front of her at just the right height to perform the act of intercourse.
I am the redeemed of the Lord and filled with The Holy Spirit, and the first thing that came to my mind is what SINNERS these people must be to indulge in such a act and then their was the person that was telling me about it.
Then I was thrown a curve ball. For those of you that don't know what a curve ball is. It starts out coming strait for you and you just know exactly what to do then wright before it gets to you it curves to the left or right and you have usually already started to swing. I had already made up my mind to drag this person to church any way I could before they bust hell wide open. Then I was told, they meaning husband and wife needed help because she had gained weight over the years and he now had some back troubles. It was difficult for them to fully enjoy the act of making LOVE without one of them being in allot of discomfort. They saw the SWING advertised on line as a tool to help relieve the stress of back pain while enjoying sex.
I was guilty of judging before I had the whole picture. Here I was making assumptions about how they saw such a thing as a SWING. I not having enough info decided to investigate for myself and found a even better SWING for them. It holds more weight and is secured in a I beam in the ceiling. It can be taken down after use and the hook covered with a small piece of cloth if they like. You can stay in the comfort of your bed and not have to stand on the floor.
Now when I speak with other couples that are facing the exact or similar situations I am able to pass on some knowledge and understanding about more ways to continue physically expressing their love for each other.
A wise author once wrote: My people are destroyed for the lack of knowledge.
Don't let your marriages be destroyed because you refuse knowledge of new witty inventions that could help. By the way this author can be found in The BasicInstructionsBeforeLeavingEarth,
Hosea 4;6.
Love Ya See Ya Bye
Twilla
I was not real sure what kind of belief system this person operated under but looking at their chosen life style I would not have called them a SAINT. I will expound on that further down.
The swing was hung on a door and the women had both legs through loops and held onto the straps connected to the door. While the male stood in front of her at just the right height to perform the act of intercourse.
I am the redeemed of the Lord and filled with The Holy Spirit, and the first thing that came to my mind is what SINNERS these people must be to indulge in such a act and then their was the person that was telling me about it.
Then I was thrown a curve ball. For those of you that don't know what a curve ball is. It starts out coming strait for you and you just know exactly what to do then wright before it gets to you it curves to the left or right and you have usually already started to swing. I had already made up my mind to drag this person to church any way I could before they bust hell wide open. Then I was told, they meaning husband and wife needed help because she had gained weight over the years and he now had some back troubles. It was difficult for them to fully enjoy the act of making LOVE without one of them being in allot of discomfort. They saw the SWING advertised on line as a tool to help relieve the stress of back pain while enjoying sex.
I was guilty of judging before I had the whole picture. Here I was making assumptions about how they saw such a thing as a SWING. I not having enough info decided to investigate for myself and found a even better SWING for them. It holds more weight and is secured in a I beam in the ceiling. It can be taken down after use and the hook covered with a small piece of cloth if they like. You can stay in the comfort of your bed and not have to stand on the floor.
Now when I speak with other couples that are facing the exact or similar situations I am able to pass on some knowledge and understanding about more ways to continue physically expressing their love for each other.
A wise author once wrote: My people are destroyed for the lack of knowledge.
Don't let your marriages be destroyed because you refuse knowledge of new witty inventions that could help. By the way this author can be found in The BasicInstructionsBeforeLeavingEarth,
Hosea 4;6.
Love Ya See Ya Bye
Twilla
Wednesday, September 1, 2010
Morning Sex
Recently I was told that I am making it hard, no pun intended, for females to get away with not having morning sex.
I don't understand what is so difficult about giving it up. Someone said " Because I gotta get the kids ready then myself ready not enough time." To that I say tell him baby we gotta get it in before the crack of dawn or at least before the crack of the kids eye lids. I bet he will be up at 4:00am for that. Some said "I just don't feel like it." Well do you feel like doing everything you do in a day. I sure don't. So sometimes just go with the flow you might feel like it before it's over. That one of course raised some concern with about the length of time it takes to do it. Come on ladies you know we can do a quick as well as the guys. I mean you know and if you don't I am here to tell you its OK for a wham bam thank you mam or sir depending on who the speedy Gonzalez is that morning. Some said"I don't have the energy". Well go get a check up maybe you need some vitamins or could be something else wrong. Then they said"Why something gotta be wrong? Well maybe it's just me but my husband still does it for me after 28 years and if the day comes that I cant find the energy to indulge in such a beautiful thing as morning sex. I will be checking with the doctor or looking at my schedule to see if I am doing too many other less important things, that might be burning me out.
I know I will have those that will disagree with all I have just said or maybe you have something to add. Feel free to write me. Make sure you push the follow me button.
Love Ya See Ya Bye
Twilla
I don't understand what is so difficult about giving it up. Someone said " Because I gotta get the kids ready then myself ready not enough time." To that I say tell him baby we gotta get it in before the crack of dawn or at least before the crack of the kids eye lids. I bet he will be up at 4:00am for that. Some said "I just don't feel like it." Well do you feel like doing everything you do in a day. I sure don't. So sometimes just go with the flow you might feel like it before it's over. That one of course raised some concern with about the length of time it takes to do it. Come on ladies you know we can do a quick as well as the guys. I mean you know and if you don't I am here to tell you its OK for a wham bam thank you mam or sir depending on who the speedy Gonzalez is that morning. Some said"I don't have the energy". Well go get a check up maybe you need some vitamins or could be something else wrong. Then they said"Why something gotta be wrong? Well maybe it's just me but my husband still does it for me after 28 years and if the day comes that I cant find the energy to indulge in such a beautiful thing as morning sex. I will be checking with the doctor or looking at my schedule to see if I am doing too many other less important things, that might be burning me out.
I know I will have those that will disagree with all I have just said or maybe you have something to add. Feel free to write me. Make sure you push the follow me button.
Love Ya See Ya Bye
Twilla
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